I blew it today. And for the past few days that are weeks that are months. I read a quote today that said "Say yes as much as you can to your children..." I forget the last half of the quote but it struck me because I feel like I say "No" a lot. Sometimes it's legit, like when my sweetie is trying something that is dangerous to herself or someone else. But sometimes it's because what she's doing might make a mess or make more work for me.
Tonight, as I was tucking her in (after an I'm-overtired-meltdown), she said that I never think of her... I only think of... she trailed off and didn't finish. But I could finish it for her - I only think of myself. That is not entirely true, but there is enough selfishness in me to know that it is partly true. I often think (and sometimes say) that if she would just listen to what we say, life would be a lot smoother for her... and me.
Did I mention that she was overtired? Take everything said with a grain of salt - she was really sad that she would never be as old as her friend whose birthday is in May. It's true. She won't be. Ever. And that's okay. But tonight, it was the end of the world.
I try so hard to do it all right. But what I really need to do it with grace. Say yes as much as possible.* Laugh more. Play outside more together... it's probably a matter of months before I will be banished to the house because she'll want to play with her friends.
Puddle jumping on our way out of the house to go somewhere is inconvenient, but it's not the end of the world.
Being a few minutes late for a get together with friends or family is okay if it means that we all leave the house happy.
Floors can be swept and washed. Windows can be windexed. Dishes can wait. Bedtime routines do not need to be polished, as long as they work.
What I have now is time with my daughter. Time to speak truth into her heart, to whisper the important stuff. I don't want her to go to bed feeling like she's failed yet another day to meet her Mother's expectations. Truth is, she exceeds my expectations all the time, reminding me to keep the bar high but forgive greatly. I need to remember that she may do something today without any trouble, but tomorrow it might be hard again. That's a part of learning.
And now, to...
Be Kind.
Speak Truth.
Love Others.
Show Grace.
Work Hard.
Be Grateful.
Follow Christ.
That's what I need to do. The rest will take care of itself.
* By saying Yes, I do not mean giving her everything she asks for. I'm one of the few parents out there who does not think that my kid needs to have something because "everyone else" has it. Materialism is a horrible distraction from the Truth that is so important. By saying Yes, I DO mean that we might take an extra loop around the block on our bikes, stop for an icecream on a hot day, have an extra story at bedtime... you know, those things that make quality time and let her know that her desires are important to me... and that she is important to me.